Archives for August 2016
A Body’s Memory
By Dana Y. Wu
The mountain-top Kiyomizu temple in Kyoto is dedicated to Dai-zui-gu Bo-sat-su, the mother of Buddha. It is said that she can grant one’s wish, whatever it may be.
Hannah (my then 13 year-old daughter), my husband, Mike and I took off our shoes, paid our donation and started down the stairs under the temple–a “tunnel” to remind us of the womb of a mother. The sign on the wall simply said to hold onto the railing. It was made of round wooden ball–not a solid wood handrail, but like a string of prayer beads that swayed as we walked. Apparently, I hadn’t read the fine (Japanese!) print saying you’d better hold on because it was very, very dark inside…so dark, you couldn’t even see your hand in front of you.
I started to feel my heart pound. I suddenly wanted to bolt backwards and run out. I heard noises and smelled incense, and felt an intense wave of fear. I knew where I was, but I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. I called out “Mike, I’m having a panic attack” and felt the blood rush from my head. There were a couple of turns to navigate, but my feet were stuck. My heart was pounding and I thought I’d pass out. I heard him say, “It’s okay.” I was having a flashback to the first World Trade Center bombing. I couldn’t breathe.
Back in 1993, I was on the 63rd floor when terrorists detonated a truck bomb in the basement garage of One World Trade Center. The power was knocked out immediately, so I just grabbed my purse from my desk and ran out to the stairwells with my co-workers from the Port Authority of NY/NJ. We had to walk downstairs in darkness, with the smell of smoke and panic swirling as we evacuated the building. It was stop and go as we moved slowly down those stairs.
The stairwells were completely dark after a while–the emergency lights didn’t seem to be working, and we were proceeding down into increasingly smoky darkness. Somehow, my colleagues and I managed to get to the World Financial Center where the Red Cross had set up tables. We were covered in soot and dust–we didn’t even realize what we looked like until we reached daylight.
To this day, I can’t remember how I got home from work on February 26, 1993. It must have been cold, but I don’t think I even had my coat. At that point we didn’t yet know that it had been a bomb or imagine that our world would be forever changed by that single act of violence.
So here I was in Kyoto, all these years later, paralyzed with fear in the womb of the female Bodhisattva. My hand gripped the swaying railing ball. I knew this was a memory triggered by the darkness and incense of the temple “rebirth” but it also triggered some deep fear in me. Mike reassured me that we were coming to some light. “A few more steps.” Well, that’s what the firefighters said to us in 1993 on our way down those smoke-filled flights of stairs.
Near the end of the temple “tunnel,” there was a stone, rotating and bathed in light, on which is written the word “womb” in Sanskrit. I was grateful for the dim light, gasping up the stairs for air. The entire temple tunnel adventure was probably less than 10 minutes in duration. My own daughter was unaware of my fearful “rebirth” during this sightseeing stop.
When the taxi dropped us off that morning at the Kiyomizu temple, I hadn’t expected to be transported back 20 years to a memory that I had forgotten. I emerged from that temple experience with a visceral and physical reaction. In a world where we feel the constant threat of terrorism and gun violence, where in every corner of the globe there is disease, war and abuse, hunger and inequality, I was faced with my body’s own memory of how our life can be taken away in an instant.
What did I wish for when I reached that stone and the light? What would you wish for?
Dana Y. Wu, a Chappaqua mom of four, is an author, visual storyteller and local volunteer. Her not-for-profit management career includes experience at the New York Public Library. A life-long New Yorker, she graduated from Stuyvesant High School and Columbia University. She pursues her writing with the vibrant, creative community at the Jacob Burns Media Arts Center.
Keeping it Fun
By Grace Bennett
I’m so dizzy, my head is spinning–with all the fun stuff we’ve packed into this edition. First and foremost, I’m super proud of having covered the Democratic National Convention together with reporter Susan Youngwood. A four-page glimpse of our experience begins on page 28. We are also delighted to deliver a “back to fun” theme–to chase away any end of summer, back to school doldrums. Matt Smith’s cover feature is a celebration of the Rotary Club members who faithfully meet every Monday at Kittle House to discuss plans–including New Castle’s much anticipated Community Day–host guest speakers and otherwise focus on “Service above Self.”
We also set out to spotlight exciting plans and esteemed authors for another amazing day of celebrating books and reading and children at the 4th annual Chappaqua Children’s Book Festival (CCBF); there’s Save the Date info and a fun memory from New Castle’s much beloved Ragamuffin Parade, the Shop for a Cause Boutique, the 2016 Dewey Election Edition at the Chappaqua Library, and this year, please save the date for and learn about “The Concert for America to End Gun Violence.”
For your absolute reading pleasure, enjoy a variety of thoughtful essays–one, in the nick of time, “Mindfulness in a Crazy World,” by Jodi Baretz; a painful recollection of the 1993 World Trade Center bombing by Dana Y. Wu (who wrote the CCBF story too!); the magic of playing field hockey by Greeley student Lauren Neff; and finally, a personal journey buoyed by the power of unconditional love by the Reverend Dr. Martha R. Jacobs.
Yet more articles: the shift soon to reusable bags in New Castle, the DeCicco’s supermarket coming to Millwood, the town’s Exceptional People Committee, Northern Westchester Hospital’s Junior Leadership Council and a profile of ‘Ms. Carol’ and ‘Ms. Dina’ at the much loved Dance Emotions.
Finally, we have two special reports: a story about Evan’s Law, written by our wonderful summer intern Justin Ellick; and an in-depth look at affordable housing efforts as they have played out (very, very differently) in both Chappaqua and Armonk–true community journalism prepared by Andrew Vitelli, our editor for Inside Armonk.
Due to this embarrassment of riches, we had to save other wonderful submissions, so as not to ‘break up’ an amazing compilation of essays produced by a group of local teens exclusive to Inside Chappaqua. So, stay tuned for more great reading in your next, November 2016 edition too!
Field Hockey: Greeley’s Hidden GEM
By Lauren Neff
My heart had never beat so fast. As I watched attentively to the orange ball on the end of my teammate Megan Graham’s stick, I squeezed the hands of my teammates so tightly that my knuckles turned white. We had fought Scarsdale to a 1-1 overtime draw in the Sectional Semifinals. It was time for the shootout–1 on 1, player vs. goalie. Tensions were high. Nikki Potter and Fiona Grant both managed to score on Scarsdale’s goalie. Our goalkeeper, Willa Kuhn, magically stopped three of four attempts.
It was Graham’s turn to shoot. Graham carried the ball towards the opposing goalie and with her speed, went around her and scored, clinching our win. Tears began to stream down my face. We jumped on Kuhn, then joined together in a group hug. We were going to the Sectional Finals, the first time Greeley field hockey had ever done so.
I could not have been a part of this wonderful program if I had not made the fateful decision to play field hockey in seventh grade. Like every other female athlete in town, I had played soccer since kindergarten. I had moved from the C team to the B team and eventually to the A team. One day, my friend told our group about how much fun the field hockey team is, that her sister had played and said it was a great way to fool around with friends after school. I called my dad asking if it would be alright for me to play. He responded, “as long as it doesn’t interfere with soccer practice.”
Little did we know at the time, it would cause me to quit soccer altogether. Most girls had never played a sport before, so I had a big advantage–field hockey is a lot like soccer, yet with a stick. I fell in love with the sport. Our team was terrible. We won once that year but it was FUN. As the girls mulled their high school options, I wanted to play field hockey, not soccer, and I had a much greater chance at doing so.
Unfortunately, in two years, Horace Greeley High School’s field hockey team may be extinct. This upcoming season, Greeley’s team is comprised of only juniors and four sophomores. There is a whole JV team to fill. Also, there are no cuts. Right now, besides swimming and boys tennis, field hockey is the most successful sport at Greeley. We were league champions in 2014 and made the Sectional Finals last season. With eight returning Varsity players this season plus good JV players, we expect a successful season and an even better one next year.
“When I became the Head Coach,” said Coach Sukhi Sukhwinder Singh, “ we finished 13th in the Section. The next year, we were 17th. It went to 11th, fifth, third and second…The first year, we won two awards at the Awards Dinner. I am happiest about this past year. We won 19.” Coach Sukhi was named Westchester/Putnam Coach of the Year in 2013.
Here’s the issue: Some 60 8th grade girls played for CYSC and club teams. There are three girls soccer teams at Greeley–Varsity, JV A & JV B. Each team is comprised of around 20 girls. Unfortunately, only three to four spots are open on Varsity this year. Around 15 sophomore girls will likely remain on the JV A and B teams.
So when freshmen girls try out for soccer this August, some will make a team and some will not. However, the real question is, how long will they remain on a team? Many girls will end up playing on JV for two years, then not making Varsity. History has shown that about eight to ten in a class will play on Varsity.
It is so difficult to make the Varsity soccer team here that great athletes will end up being cut from the program because of a lack of space. So what can these girls do? The answer is simple: pick up a stick. One of our Varsity players, Cat Brennan, left soccer for field hockey in ninth grade and started many games as a sophomore.
Field hockey allows every girl who plays it to succeed in some way and grow as an athlete and as a person. Whether that is scoring a goal, giving an assist, winning an award or just being there to support the team and have fun, everyone takes something away from this experience. I would have maybe lasted two years on JV soccer teams if I were lucky. In field hockey, I was called up to Varsity as a freshman. This past year, I started each game, scored 11 goals and received several postseason awards. If I can do it, so can anyone. Please join us.
Lauren Neff is a rising junior at Horace Greeley High School. She enjoys field hockey, basketball, and singing in an A Capella group.
The Joy and Possibilities of Unconditional Love
By Rev. Dr. Martha Jacobs
After the shooting in Orlando, I heard about how families were pained to learn, only through death, that their loved one was gay. I cannot imagine the pain that those families felt, realizing that their now deceased loved one didn’t trust them enough to tell them about their sexual orientation. To have to live a part of who you are in secret can be so painful, not only for the person but for those that surround them.
I know, because I spent the better part of my 20s and 30s not talking with my parents about my own sexual orientation. While I was already with the person I loved and planned to spend the rest of my life with, and who made me very happy, and while my parents welcomed her and treated her in a way that was loving, we never discussed the truth about our love and our life together.
When I finally got the courage to talk with my parents about it, they were accepting, but I think that a part of them was hurt that I didn’t trust their love for me enough to tell them 15 years earlier. Their acceptance of Pat and me didn’t change, but there was a shift, as my dad started introducing Pat as his “other daughter.”
My parents had dealt with many challenges I presented to them over my teen and adult life (I had also converted from Judaism to Christianity), and yet they continued to love me. They were both amazing role-models of love without conditions.
In the mid-1980’s, I started attending The Riverside Church in Manhattan. There I heard from The Rev. Dr. William Sloane Coffin that all people, no matter their race, class or sexual orientation, were welcome and that God didn’t judge people for who they are but rather for how they treat others. I found myself accepted for all of who I was! To know that God accepted me, despite my being gay, was more than I could ever have imagined! That was totally new to me and opened up a whole new world of people who accepted me for who I was, which had previously only been available to me in my work in the theater.
This acceptance helped me to eventually answer a call to serve God.
My parents and my church showed me their unconditional love and modeled how to love unconditionally. This enabled me to do the same with people who were dealing with HIV/AIDS, whose families, in the late 1980’s and 1990’s, were not unconditionally loving to them. That unconditional love also enabled me to go through seminary, learn about treating all people with love and respect and welcoming everyone–even those who thought I didn’t belong at their table–to my table. Working as a chaplain in a hospital forced me to confront my own racism, my own classism, and my own anger with people who did not want to accept me for me.
When I found myself looking to move from hospital chaplaincy to parish ministry, I knew I wanted and needed to be in a church that welcomed all people. Of course, they would have to welcome me as a same-gender-loving person, but more than that, they would have to welcome everyone–no matter their skin color, culture, or social status, whether or not they were otherly-abled or LGBTQ, or even what kind of God they felt drawn to worship. God led me that amazing place–First Congregational Church.
When the church decided to call me as their minister (in the United Church of Christ, each congregation calls its own minister), there was no discussion as to my sexual orientation or the fact that I was a woman. This church is living out its decision to be an “Open and Affirming Church”–one that welcomes all to our church. I could not be prouder or more humbled by this congregation I serve. We proudly say, “No matter who you are, or where you are on life’s journey, you are welcome here.” And we mean it!
Rev. Dr. Martha Jacobs is Senior Minister at First Congregational Church of Chappaqua.