My husband and I have felt thickly entrenched in the “sandwich generation” these past few years. We each have parents that became widows recently and we have spent a lot of time worrying not only about our parents’ physical health but also about their mental health. Myriad news articles illustrated that loneliness and social isolation in the elderly, which was so prevalent during the pandemic is associated with a higher risk for health problems such as heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline.
While both of us have very different scenarios for our parents – my father-in-law had to move to an assisted living facility and my mother is moving to an apartment building with many seniors her age, we both felt that the opportunity for strong social networks that they can forge in their new homes would help them successfully age.
Although our parents don’t live locally there’s good news for seniors who are looking to create social connections right here in Armonk – whether they partake in activities at the Hergenhan Community Center on Maple Avenue or are residents at The Bristal on Business Park Drive which offers assisted living or memory care options. Both focus on helping seniors stay connected with one another through a range of activities.
For the past 13 years, Liz Duffy has worked as the Senior Rec Leader at the Hergenhan Community Center. She has watched it grow from an underused facility for seniors to a thriving community with robust programming. “I like to think of this place as an oasis for seniors,” says Duffy. Senior residents of North Castle can partake in many activities ranging from Mah Jong to mandala workshops to the ever-popular exercises classes such as strength training and chair yoga all complimentary. Accessibility to and from the Hergenhan Community Center is available via a free van.
Duffy is always thinking of new ways to engage seniors. For example, during the COVID pandemic she had an abundance of yarn and a craft room that was disorganized and unwelcoming. Serendipitously, a senior had just relocated to the area who had previously owned a knitting store and was willing to spearhead a new knitting group. Together, Duffy with the help of some of the other seniors created a warm, welcoming place for seniors of all levels to knit. “Liz worked so hard to make that room a comfortable and enjoyable place to knit,” said Rae Spinelli, 94, a senior who participates regularly in the knitting group as well as other activities at the center. “The sharing part in our group is the best. We share in each other’s grief and happiness,” adds Spinelli who started going to the senior center when her husband passed away from Alzheimer’s 10 year ago. A friend of Spinelli’s told her that she needed to join the senior center instead of isolating herself at home and remaining grief stricken.
“The knitting group laughs a lot and has a large age range from people in their 60s into their 90s with different abilities,” says Duffy who adds that they have made many blankets for veterans. “It is beautiful to watch these friendships form,” she comments.
Spinelli also frequently participates in the exercise programs at the center. A long-time yoga enthusiast, Spinelli enjoys the chair yoga and believes that the balance gained through the classes is a key factor in preventing falls. The center also offers strength training classes and chair yoga on Tuesdays via Zoom, which had started during the pandemic.
Home delivered meals are also an option at the center. “We have a group of volunteers that deliver meals to seniors and the nice thing about that is these volunteers form a relationship with the seniors. They alert us if a senior needs help in any way. We are not a social service agency but we are keeping an eye out for them,” explains Duffy.
One of the most popular activities is trips outside of Armonk. Duffy hires a coach bus for roundtrip transportation and for a reasonable fee has had seniors partake in trips such as a Thimble Islands cruise in Connecticut, the Culinary Institute of America, the Cloisters and even the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. Duffy is committed to keeping costs nominal for the participants whether it is an off-site trip or a luncheon at a local restaurant. Duffy admits that there may be an initial reluctance to come to the center. But once seniors do, they are pleasantly surprised.
“Seniors sometimes feel like they are the only one who lost a spouse or had to move to be closer to their adult children. Once they start having a conversation, new friendships are formed. This place really does fight social isolation which we know is so detrimental for seniors. Plus, there’s a lot of laughter,” she adds. While the majority of the seniors are independent that go to the Hergenhan Community Center, the residents at The Bristal may need help with activities of daily living or be experiencing memory loss. Mark Paretti, who is Vice President of Resident Experience for all of The Bristal’s 26 communities across the tri-state area, like Duffy, is always looking at ways to offer programs that keep the residents there socially engaged.
“We look at the dimensions of wellness for each resident both physically and cognitively,” says Paretti. From daily walking clubs to yoga and grip strength classes, The Bristal ensures that multiple times throughout the day their residents can be physically active. Paretti and his team also create stimulating programs that enhance lifelong learning. Through partnerships with esteemed universities such as Hofstra University, Pace University, and the Fashion Institute of Technology, residents have access to higher education-level courses right within their community. It is a voluntary lifelong learning program for residents with lectures, discourses, and other educational content covering a wide range of topics such as politics, science, media and entertainment. “Ideally, we want the residents to learn new things that they didn’t know the day before to enhance their brain plasticity and build neural connections. For residents with memory loss, we can’t reverse that, but we can slow its progression,” he adds.
Paretti is also laser-focused on making new residents feel welcome. They pair residents with similar interests and also have resident ambassadors who have lived there a while to acclimate newer residents. “Obviously the onus is on us at The Bristal to make new residents feel part of the community. But sometimes a resident may feel more comfortable speaking to someone who moved there, just like them.” These strong social connections can reduce depression and hopefully improve longevity.
One of the highlights for many of the residents are supervised weekly shopping trips to stores such as CVS or Target. “This shouldn’t be underestimated. Residents are going to the store themselves and buying what they need which helps them maintain a level of independence. It is meaningful for them.” Paretti says there are no limits to what outings residents can go on from beloved restaurants to sporting events. “We don’t just want our residents taking scenic drives to see fall foliage or holiday lights. We want feet on the ground so that are residents are engaged and active in the community at large.”
“Imagine if you moved to a new place and never left the four walls of your apartment. It would be devastating. Our overall goal is that residents find each day to be meaningful and purposeful. And we want that to exist for them, today, tomorrow and thereafter. We will customize the experience for them and support them in this goal. Like everyone else, seniors need a reason to get up in the morning too,” he summarizes.
