The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

Chappaqua Moms

Splinter Groups

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EllenDavis_B+W Smaller (2)I loved when Chappaqua Moms first started on Facebook. What a great way to help bring our community together. We have a central location where one can check in for advice and information on a plethora of topics like childcare issues, homeowner tips and the occasional hilarious anecdote. I extend kudos to the founding members. But I am starting to feel like we are maybe creating too many splinter groups. I understand Chappaqua Moms Sales. I know that hundreds of items a week are bought and sold. Although, personally, I can’t wrap my head around wearing used shoes, that’s my issue not yours. And the Chappaqua Wholeshare Food site? Lots and lots of splits of mangoes and cow sharing. Great idea.

But here’s a question. Do we really need all of these significantly smaller groups that are private? Can’t we all be part of a larger group? There’s Chappaqua Moms Travel, Gardening and Couture. There’s a separate coyote site and a separate site for Dads. But then there’s Chappaqua Moms and Dads. How specific do we have to be? Chappaqua Moms Moms for Grandmothers? Chappaqua Moms Mabley for comedians. Chappaqua Mom-entum for the work out folks. How about Chappaqua Mom-sers for those with unruly children? Or Chappaqua Mom-ents when something special happens in our lives? I digress. But I think you get the drift.

And there’s a bigger picture. What I am noticing in Chappaqua Moms is a microcosm for what’s going on all around us. Can’t we all be a little more inclusive? I was upset after reading a woman describe how, because of her clothing, she was made to feel “less than” in a frame shop. If I was judged by my appearance, I don’t think the A&P would even let me buy milk. I go to work in Levi’s. I remember a woman looking at me for days on end on Metro North. I tried not to get too paranoid. Finally she spoke to me and said, “Sorry if I’ve been staring but I see you every day in jeans and I just need to know what you do for a living?” I was relieved that was all she wanted. Then I explained to her that I worked in television and I spent much time in edit rooms or on shoots. She told me she was so jealous that I could wear such casual clothes. We ended up having a lovely chat. I never mind curiosity about anything in my life. But it’s pre-judgment that throws me for a loop. How can anyone assume someone can’t afford something based on appearance? Or how can one assume someone might not be cultured or educated based on appearance? You can’t and you shouldn’t.

Years ago a local mom said to my partner and me, “I know this might sound crazy, but my daughter has a question for both of you. She wants to know if you and Aimee both wore wedding dresses when you got married.” After we stopped laughing, we explained that we’re not legally married but definitely consider ourselves a family. So neither of us wore a wedding dress. No judgment. Just curiosity. I actually loved how open and innocent that question was.

Chappaqua is made up of such a varied group of people. Isn’t it amazing we have the opportunity to learn about different cultures, different nationalities and different points of view? Why limit yourself by only getting to know people who are just like you are? Why be part of a narrowly casted group when you can be part of something more?

Since we moved to Chappaqua around fourteen years ago, my family has gained such a diverse, adorable, funny, amazing group of friends. A cross section of the world seems to be represented. One family invited us over for traditional Indian fare. And it was beyond delicious. This same father came to our B’nai Mitzvah and couldn’t believe what a special day it was. Another taught me so much about the Muslim religion, and was thrilled to hear all about the news network I work for. Whether it’s bringing us rugalach from my favorite Long Island bakery or watching the kids without a moment’s notice, our friends do us great favors and don’t need explanations as to why.

With Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, Festivus and anything else you celebrate upon us, let’s leave ourselves open. Open to the wonderful possibility of being part of something big, not small. Part of something inclusive, not exclusive. Part of a group of people who accept and not reject.

Join me.

Ellen Davis is a Writer, Producer and Director for Television.

It Takes A (Facebook) Village

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As a new user to Facebook four years ago, Julie Scott quickly realized the need for a Chappaqua Moms group. Whether your kids are small or all grown up, Moms have a lot of information to share (and seek a lot of information as well). Pictured here: Julie Scott, mom to Naomi (age 10) Leah (age 6) and Jack (age 3). Julie is a professional children’s portrait photographer, working out of her
home in Chappaqua.
Photo by Doug Shapiro

By Lindsay Hand

No power across town, trees falling, limited ways to find out what was going on…and there my mom sat on her iPhone, obsessively checking the now-famous “Chappaqua Moms” group on Facebook.

I had known about the group for a while –babysitting, anyone? –but it didn’t become a significant part of everyday life until it was all that families throughout Chappaqua had to get them information regarding roads, power outages, and open gas stations during Hurricane Sandy. The group is truly an invaluable asset to everyone here –which is why it is so surprising that it has only been around for about four years. Anyone could have done it, but resident Julie Scott was the one to take initiative and create Chappaqua Moms.

A Stroke of Genius

Scott, a children’s portrait photographer and mother of three, was told by a friend to join Facebook and soon after got involved in a group from her hometown in Montreal. She realized that Facebook could be very useful here, and looked up Chappaqua groups, finding only groups of Greeley students. She had been involved in large e-mail groups before, but found that “reply all” gets annoying after a while; she knew that she had to make a group accepting of all moms in Chappaqua (and even dads, now). She saw a “pretty glaring need ” for a group like Chappaqua Moms.

“This is a way that you can opt in without being annoyed,” mused Scott. “There is always information that needs to be exchanged, even in everyday life. It’s really becoming a critical tool.”

With 1,445 members as of November 2nd, the group became the go-to resource during the late October superstorm, a tribute to the members of the group and the community as a whole. “Everyone’s adding to it and that’s what makes it so powerful,” says Scott. “It’s to the credit of the community for it being as great as it is. I don’t take any credit for how great a resource it’s been, but I am proud of myself for thinking of it!”

Information and so Much More

Chappaqua Moms is not only used to share information regarding road closures and situations throughout town, though; the group has now, after the storm, become extremely important for small shop owners in downtown Chappaqua as a way to spread the word about supporting their stores after this crisis. Cindy Lupica, the owner of Marmalade, noted that Sandy was “a natural phenomenon that got us all connected in such an awesome way. It’s built a foundation for us to expand on in the future.”

Frequent poster Robin Murphy, owner of Maid Brigade, could not agree more: “I see the Chappaqua Moms page as being able to make a difference in the community going forward, just because of all the bonding.”  Local merchants, in addition to promoting in-town shopping for the holidays, are also collecting donations to help those communities on Long Island and the New Jersey shore that were drastically impacted by the hurricane.

Outlet for Bonding

Though the group’s success can be attributed to many things, Scott deserves some acknowledgment for being the one to finally put something like this group together. “Disasters like Sandy do happen…we should feel so lucky that we live in this day and age when we have technology to overcome the fears of being isolated from each other.” Not only was “the board” a vital source for sharing information, it provided an outlet for humor and bonding in the face of frustration and recovery from the storm.

There is no dispute that the Chappaqua Moms have become a group to be reckoned with and the go-to place for anything from babysitters to roofers to vacation recommendations and anything in between.

And who knows what close friendships may result from this Facebook group? The first official Chappaqua Moms get-together was held on Monday, November 19, with more gatherings to follow.

Maybe my mom will finally get off her phone and go meet these people!

Lindsay Hand is a junior at Horace Greeley High School, and has written numerous articles and served as last September’s “Guest Editor” for Inside Chappaqua.