A book excerpt from: How to Have A Match Made in Heaven: A Transformational Approach to Dating, Relating and Marriage (ASK Productions, Inc., 2012) By Ariel and Shya Kane
If you’re dating or contemplating dating again, you may be reading this with the desire to glean tips that will help you with that process. If you’ve been married for years, you may be skimming through this to get on to the information that applies to you. You may erroneously think that you’re “beyond the dating stage” and may be rushing forward to find the marriage parts. But dating itself is a key building block for any relationship or marriage. In fact, when a couple gets into trouble, they have often forgotten to woo each other. They have forgotten how to date. It’s easy to forget when there are bills to be paid and children to be fed or when you’re busy trying to make your relationship “go somewhere.”
The two of us are on a succession of dates. They have already lasted 30 years and we expect a lifetime of them. Sometimes we stop what we’re doing when one or the other of us will say, “Want to take a date with me out to the mailbox?” Then we slip on our shoes and go out our front door. The screen door makes a creaking salute, and we often hold hands as we head out into our driveway, our feet crunching on the gravel. It’s a time to feel the air and smell the greenery and see the sun slanting through the trees. Or perhaps it’s a time to slide over the snow and watch the bare branches clatter in the wind. But it’s always a time just for us. Getting the mail is an excuse to be together.
Of course we don’t actually need an excuse since we live and work together, but we make one anyway. We have dates while doing the dishes and others while making a trip to the grocery store. And occasionally over the years, we’ve even had a date in the emergency room as one or the other of us needed medical attention. It’s all an intimate adventure if you’re there for it.
Since 1987, internationally-acclaimed authors and seminar leaders Ariel and Shya Kane have taught individuals, couples and organizations worldwide how to live in the moment and unwire the knee-jerk behaviors that get in the way of living life with ease. For more information, visit www.MatchMadeinHeavenBook.com or www.TransformationMadeEasy.com.
Leah says
I love this article! What a sweet, fun possibility that life can be a series of dates! It is so easy to get lost in rushing ahead and miss the beauty of the moment, and your partner. Thanks for the reminder!
Dorothy Rowan says
I love that these authors are still “wooing” each other, after 30 years together! I havent heard many other couples describe their relationshp that way – reason enough to make me want to read this book!
Grace Bennett says
Enjoyed the book myself and hope to take lots of its advice and apply tomy own single dating life! : -)