10. Ensure that the standard bases are covered–childcare and a parenting plan, the home, financial assets, real and personal assets, retirement plans, taxes, life insurance, health insurance, beneficiary designations, trusts, geographical location, and possible hidden assets.
9. Money is not top priority; take care of the important things and the money will take care of itself.
8. To the extent possible, check your emotions at the door…but always bring your passion.
7. The children…they know. Take care of them but do not try to protect them; listen to them, they deserve respect and need your love and guidance.
6. Anger and fear are toxic and not productive. Forgiveness is healing and productive. Forgiveness is as hard or as easy as you decide, it is your choice. Forgiveness has everything to do with you and very little to do with the offender. By letting go of the hurt, you will free yourself from the emotional bondage that you are in.
5. Reflect upon whom you were in the marriage; expand your vision of the possibilities of who you will be after the marriage. Think outside the marriage.
4. DO NOT compromise. Do not do something or agree to something just because you are tired or want it to be over and are scared, tired, emotionally drained; you will without a doubt regret it at some point. Develop your goals for the process and work backwards from there. Focus with tenacity until you have achieved your goals.
3. If you and your attorney are not 100% in sync, find a new one. It may delay the process somewhat but it will also expedite it. Go with your gut.
2. Keep your focus on the big picture. When it comes to dividing personal property that is personally special or sentimental, do not spend more on legal fees than the item is worth.
1. Regardless of who initiated the divorce or why, this is your life. Love yourself, honor yourself, and do not settle for one bit less than what you deserve and are entitled to.
David Bennett, CPA, CFF, CITP founded RAA Services, LLC in 2007. He has more than 25 years of expertise in tax accounting, financial planning, divorce mediation and collaboration, corporate finance and operations, and financial systems. David is also on the Board of Directors of Rock Asylum, a non-profit organization that creates opportunities for elementary age students to engage in learning the Common Core Standards through original music, both recorded and live. These songs are written to target specific academic areas for children. Concerts are donated to schools with the intention of inspiring students to learn these educational songs and stimulate performance in other school subjects. Visit the website at www.rockasylum.com