The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

Top Ten Anything!

False Beliefs About Child Abuse

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child-hand10. Child abuse only occurs in low income families. Child abuse occurs in homes where there are children present, no matter what the income is.

9. Screaming at my kids is not child abuse. Words can scar. Repeated screaming and degrading a child is emotional abuse.

8. I know my neighbors and friends well enough to say that they don’t abuse their children.
We never know what stresses people are under and what is going on behind closed doors.

7. It is only abuse if it is physical. There is also emotional abuse, sexual abuse, failure to thrive, and neglect.

6. “Good” people don’t abuse, only unloving/bad parents. Parents love their children. Stress and isolation are two triggers for abuse. Frequently parents don’t know positive discipline techniques.

5. Abused children grow up to be abusers. While it is more likely that an abused child will continue this cycle, many adult survivors of child abuse are motivated to act differently and become excellent parents.

4. Children exaggerate or make false accusations. While this happens occasionally, children are usually honest and their words are a call for help.

3. Child Abuse is rare. Last year in Westchester County, there were over 6,000 reports of suspected child abuse and neglect.

2. Parents who abuse their children are doing it deliberately. Parents who abuse their children cross the line because they don’t know any other way, they can’t manage their stress and anger, or they have mental illness. The last thing they want to do is hurt their children.

1. Child abuse does not happen in my neighborhood/community. Unfortunately child abuse occurs in every neighborhood, at every income level, in every ethnic group and at every educational level…everywhere.

Lend a hand. Help a child. Strengthen a family.

Child Abuse Prevention
Center of NY, Inc.
7 Holland Avenue
White Plains, NY 10603

Email:capc@preventchildabuse.net | www.preventchildabuse.net.

To get help or give help, Please call 914-997-2642

Trade Secrets of Stand-up Comics

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authorBy John DeBellis

Whether you’re a would-be stand-up comic, a public speaker or just telling jokes to friends many of these tips will help you get bigger laughs:

10. Don’t be too audience conscious, which means do not grade yourself by your audience’s reaction. There are times I’d be working to a tired audience, or one that’s way too drunk, or one that really likes me, but are listeners rather than laughers. Woody Allen said that some of his best sets were ones where he didn’t get many laughs, but afterwards audience members told him how much they enjoyed his show.

9. Whenever possible, we always video recorded our sets and watched them no matter how painful, especially the bad ones. This way we could compare what worked and didn’t worked. Sometimes, the difference in getting a laugh or not is just a syllable or an added word, a look, or you waited just a beat too long in the delivery of the punch line or set up.

8. If I’m rolling alone, getting steady laughs and suddenly a joke doesn’t get a laugh (it’ll feel like an hour of silence), I never comment on it. Most of the time, the audience won’t even notice. There have been times, when a prolonged silence caused me to bring attention to it, but I always made sure what I said was funny. The audience wants the comic to be in control.

7. I was taught never to use vulgarity to deal with a tough situation, like a heckler or an unusual interruption. I’ve worked through black outs and fights in the audience. It’s best to stay clean and original. By closing off the easy avenues it opens up better avenues. You learn to think creatively on your feet and find smarter ways to turn a bad situation into a good one.

6. I was told early on from comedians like Elayne Boosler and Richard Lewis to watch other comics–especially your peers–not to emulate, but to see what works or doesn’t work and to help your fellow comics with advice or even a punch line. It’s one of the fastest ways to learn.

5. For comics it’s important to let the laughs breathe and not to step on them by going into your next joke too quickly. At the same time you also don’t want to wait too long and leave too much space between jokes. Finding the correct timing every time comes with experience.

4. This can also apply to public speakers. Don’t worry about hecklers. Most young comics, unnecessarily, fear them more than any single thing. You naturally learn to deal with hecklers as you gain confidence. You’ll relax more and become even more confident; at that point hecklers can even become tools rather than hindrances.

3. Don’t be afraid of failure. This can apply to other walks of life, but it’s imperative for comedians. Most newbie comics almost always bomb. Although it’s tough to stand there (you feel your life forces being squeezed out of your sweating paws) and not get laughs, you have to realize that bombing helps you determine what’s funny or not. Because of the pain you build a tough crust that will give you the strength to turn a bad audience into a good one.

bookjacket2. For a comedian, it’s important to go on stage as much as possible–even if there’s only one person in the audience. It is still stage time and subconsciously it counts. From a wide range of situations we develop the tools we need in order to be a good comedian. In most cases stage persona takes time to develop. Jerry Seinfeld says it takes ten years.

1. As in many professions, growth as a stand-up comic comes in stages. I’ll be having great sets, and then suddenly I’ll bomb for a week or more. All that meant was that I was between levels ready to break through a wall to advance to the next stage in my development. Knowing that can be the difference between quitting, or becoming a success. I was taught by Rodney Dangerfield never to compare my growth to that of other comics. We all learn at our own pace.

John DeBellis’ STANDUP GUYS: A Generation of Laughs is a comic’s memoir that puts the reader on and off stage with a unique group of young comedians: Larry David, Richard Lewis, Richard Belzer, Bill Maher, Gilbert Gottfried, Elayne Boosler, Rita Rudner, Larry Miller, Joe Piscopo, Robert Wuhl, Paul Reiser, Jerry Seinfeld and several of the most neurotic, lovable characters who survived and thrived due to talent, passion, and, most importantly, camaraderie. It’s a memoir rich in humor, pathos, and insight.

STANDUP GUYS

“A Generation of Laughs”

John DeBellis

johndebellis@gmail.com

201-286-4083
www.920spot.com

Twitter@misterpitiful

 

 

 

 

Heads Up, High School Seniors!

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anna bennetWhat I Wish I Knew Before Leaving  for College

By Anna Bennett

1. Don’t change your Facebook name. Change your Facebook.

Sorry, but changing your name from “Katie Hartman” to “Kay T Hearts” won’t protect you from college admissions officers creeping on your profile. Instead of changing your name, clean up your profile. During the admissions process, tighten your privacy settings (as you should anyway) and get rid of any photos you wouldn’t want an admissions person to see (i.e., red cups, skimpy clothing, looking intoxicated, etc.). Be extra safe by hiding your tagged photos altogether and making your profile and cover photos the only ones available. Enable the “View as” tool, which is on the drop-down menu below your cover photo on the right.

2. Blowing the money you made from your part-time job = BAD decision.

In most cases, living away from home means managing your own bank account. As a high school student, a part-time job may mean pocket change in addition to the support you get from your parents. In college, there are ample amounts of expenses you’ll have that you would have never considered before. So, although it may be tough, try not to blow your extra cash on frivolous items. When your bank account is dry and you’re sick of bothering your parents for more money, you’ll appreciate the cushion.

3. Your group of friends may be completely different than what you’ve set up for yourself.

It may be comforting to solidify a small circle of friends months prior to school, but there’s no need to go over the top with it. The likelihood is that you’ll get together with this crew for the first couple weekend nights, but they won’t remain your “crew” for long. Starting a Facebook message thread with a bunch of people you’ve only met once at an NYC meet-up in no way guarantees a life-long friend.

4. Few professors will get to 
know you.

Unless you make them know you. In college, especially as a freshman, you may be in lectures as large as 500 students. It’s impractical for professors to know all their students on a personal level. Knowing this, it is up to you to make yourself stand out. Some helpful tips: introduce yourself on the first day, sit towards the front, raise your hand often, and most importantly, utilize office hours—if you seek help on assignments, you may just get an A for effort…

5. Getting involved is the best way to find your place.

A great way to get comfortable in college is join some type of organization, whether it’s an intramural sports team, Greek life, student government, or literally anything (my school has a hilarious Quidditch team—and yes, they run around on brooms). Joining something makes a large, intimidating school feel small and intimate, and doesn’t hurt your resume, either.

6. Your wardrobe is irrelevant.

While high school may have been a fashion show, none of that means anything anymore in college. Spending absurd amounts of money on a brand new wardrobe is pointless. You’ll be living with many students your age, which means there will be plenty of closets to raid.

7. Keep a calendar.

There’s a reason for “syllabus week” other than slacking off and partying with all your new friends. Although classes may not be deep into material just yet, this is a chance to get organized. College schedules can get confusing and jam-packed, so it’s best to write important dates ASAP to avoid stress later on.

8. Read the e-mails your college sends you.

They may seem copious and spam-like, but try to at least skim the e-mails your college sends you. Often, they contain important information (that may hurt you academically if overlooked) and awesome opportunities, like a career fair or scholarships you may apply for.  Missed e-mails = missed chances.

9. Don’t go home every other 
weekend.

Especially during the first few months of school, everyone is on their game when it comes to making friends. Friendships form very quickly. As homesick as you may be during this transition, you don’t want to miss out on bonding experiences with people who could become your life-long friends.

10. Self-motivation is KEY.

Nobody is going to hold your hand–your happiness and success all depends on you. Sitting and waiting for good luck to come along isn’t going to cut it. DO something instead.

Anna Bennett, Greeley Class of 2010, is a communications major in her junior year at University of Massachusetts at Amherst.

Great Parks in Westchester County

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Manor-ParkStory and drawings by Dylan O’Keefe

Spring is upon us, and what better way to embrace the changing of the seasons than to get out and explore the splendor of the natural world around you. As residents of Westchester County, we are lucky to have so many beautiful public parks to hike, fish, picnic, etc.  Whether you are looking for a challenging hike on dynamic terrain, or an easy scenic area to relax and socialize with friends and family, Westchester Parks have something to offer everyone; young and old alike.

As a long time resident of Chappaqua, I have been able to visit many of the parks our county has to offer. Here are ten of my favorites:

1. Manor Park, Larchmont:

After entering the park on its smooth tarmac pathway you will be struck by its extraordinary view of the Long Island Sound, its quaint gazebos, and the glacially striated rocks spanning the 5000 ft. shoreline.  Historically the land has passed in ownership from the Siwanoy, to the Dutch, to the nephew of John Jay.

2. Whippoorwill Park, Chappaqua: 

I found this park’s hilly and dense terrain the best for long hikes in solitude. A wandering body in nature leads to a more fluid and creative wondering mind.  The area also allows tent camping with permission from the town.

3. Rockefeller Preserve, Sleepy Hollow: 

Donated by the Rockefeller family in 1983, this 1,233-acre park features dirt, tarmac and gravel trails, great for running, jogging or walking through dense tree lines. The park even allows for horse riding.  The area looks out onto the Hudson with picturesque views of the Tappan Zee Bridge, a sight that is far more attractive when seen from a distance of three miles.

bird4. Gedney Park, Chappaqua:

A New Castle favorite, this family friendly 126-acre park features playgrounds, picnic areas, sporting fields and hiking trails.

5. Kensico Resevoir, Mount Pleasant:

Technically not a park, but contiguous to both Cranberry Lake Preserve and Kensico Plaza Dam Park, the reservoir offers fishing and boating to permit holders. Cranberry Lake has elementary trails with swamps, cliffs, and woodland scenery.

6. Teatown Lake Preservation, Yorktown-Cortlandt-New Castle:

This 834-acre nature preserve operated by a not-for-profit hosts a summer camp and environmental education programs to adults and children alike. The park itself features hiking trails with varying degrees of difficulty, and scenic lakeside views of regional flora and fauna.

7. Muscoot Farms, 
Katonah:

Once privately run, this family friendly farm was acquired by the county in the 1960’s and has been a public park ever since. Its 777 acres offer visitors hiking trails, and educational tours of barns lively with farm animals.

8. Bear Mountain State Park, 
Rockland County:

Although located in Rockland County, the Bear Mountain Bridge connects the park to mountainous trails in Westchester County consisting of challenging routes up steep hills to moderate paths through low wetlands and swooping valleys. The mountain lookout on the west side of the park has breathtaking views of the Hudson valley. Though some might view the Bridge as an eyesore in the valley, I see it as a beautiful juxtaposition between the intelligent design of civil engineering and the naturally selected design of the surrounding flora.

9. Burden Preserve, Armonk: 

Perfect for long walks in solitude. Being amongst the trees in this park brings an oasis of serenity that is both cleansing and refreshing compared to the din of a town or city. Nature gives us a window to our biological roots and leads us to ask what took us from a species that swung from the limbs of trees to the bipedal creatures we are today. It gives us the perspective that even with all of our technology, we are still so connected to our animal roots– for good or for bad.

10. Croton Gorge Park, Cortlandt: This scenic park features undemanding trails with fountains and bridges.  Sitting below the colossal New Croton Dam, this park is another great example of nature meets civil engineering.

I am sure I left some great Westchester parks out so if you have any comments or suggestions email me at dokeefe@albany.edu or follow/ tweet @DylanOKeefe. In hiking always remember to pack the provisions you need with you, carry out what you carry in, and tell someone if you plan to journey alone.

To learn about our county parks: 
visit: http://parks.westchestergov.com/

Dylan O’Keefe, Greeley Class of 2010, is in his junior year at SUNY Albany.

KEY Ways to Keep New Castle Clean

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clean up 4by The Town of New Castle Beautification Advisory Board
Photos courtesy of NewCastleNow.org

1. Don’t throw trash out of car windows.

 2. Dispose of litter in the appropriate receptacles available around Town.

 3. Secure the lids on the refuse cans and recycled paper so the wind doesn’t scatter the contents. Remember that refuse containers are to be placed out no sooner than the night before pick up and brought back  in by day’s end.

4. Don’t leave garbage in plastic bags; animals can and will easily tear them and scatter the contents.

5. Instruct your gardener NOT to blow leaves onto the roads, the gutters or the streams.

clean up 56. Gather fallen tree limbs and brush, tie them in bundles no longer than four feet and leave them at curbside.  The Town picks up throughout the year. Consult the Refuse Calendar Schedule for your area and, remember, the town will not pick up piles left unbundled.

7. As you jog or walk through your neighborhood, please pick up any litter and, in particular, the yellow plastic tape left over from Hurricane Sandy.

8. If you put up Tag Sale signs or flyers, remember to go back and take them down as soon as possible after the event.

9. Embrace our motto, Be Neat to the Street, and  keep your property clean to the curb.  If every resident were to do this regularly, our streets would be consistently clean!

clean up one10. Join us at our annual “Clean Up Day” to be held on April 27.  This year, to thank participants, the Beautification Advisory Board is giving discount cards to all volunteers.  These coupons, offered by the organization “Thank You for Caring”, provide a 20% discount at participating restaurants and shops throughout our region.  For further information, visit mynewcastle.org  or call Town Hall at 238-4771.