By Rick Reynolds Call me squeamish, but I don’t think “death” is an okay side effect for an acne medicine. How did we get to this point?Today, we are pelted with TV drug advertising for every malady known— and some we never knew we had until the commercial made us feel the symptoms. Take “Avodart” for instance. I hear the word “dart” targeted at me and I instantly visualize my bladder springing a leak. The name screams, “INCOMING.” Who came up with the name, “Avodart”? Punish that person! So too, headache medicine commercials effectively affect migraines. Indeed, all drug commercials leave me with the symptoms they purport to cure. After a night of TV watching, I’m so paranoid I feel like taking all my meds–and everyone else’s. And what must our kids think about Baby Boomers, with their overactive bladders– or their weak streams, either suffering from a dysfunctional penal system–or a stiff sentence of 10-hours or more – likely in solitary confinement. Our children must think we’re an embattled population of frantic, frisky, frustrated freaks imprisoned in our infirmities. Even if true, we don’t want our grown kids kicking us off Universal Healthcare as just another bad investment. Beyond this, I guarantee you, kids don’t want to think about the “moment being right” for their parents. EEEUwe!!! Moreover, kids aren’t fooled when the couple exchange dreamy glances and then take in a night at the opera. They know the “opera” is a metaphor. They learned what metaphors are in 6th grade English. Besides, in the commercial before, teenagers see their moms and dads in separate bathtubs, which, incidentally, they must think could be their parents’ problem. But this article isn’t about that.