The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

Essay

Service to the Community

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Tuan Anh Dang, here with his mom Huong Giang Nguyen at Crabtree’s Kittle House shortly before receiving the Rotary’s Student Community Service Award and a Rotary Scholarship.  Photo by Grace Bennett/Inside Press

My first American role model was ‘Eric’–I met him when I was just 10 and he was a lanky 19-year-old studying at UCSB. Though he might be glossed over by some as just another college student, to my English as a Second Language (ESL) classmates and me, he became our guide to the outside world. Despite not having a single language in common (Spanish, Chinese, German, Vietnamese) among ourselves, Eric still somehow managed to teach us all English. Through Apples to Apples, he gave us a basic vocabulary (and uncontrollable laughter–the universal language) that we could build upon. While trying to help us integrate into the broader community, he created one right within that class. Even after the course ended, people in that class remained some of my closest friends after elementary school and throughout middle school. We kept in contact even after some of us had to return to our home countries.

I am not sure if Eric knew that he had just fostered a dozen children and made us all feel at home in this foreign country for the first time. Inspired by Eric, I strive to pay the favor forward to other immigrant children by teaching ESL classes at Neighbors Link. In their confused eyes, I see my younger self who was equally perplexed by this odd world. Unable to communicate, there is no doubt that these children are feeling alone amongst their peers, just as I did. 

Whenever I see this uncertain look in their eyes, it just drives me harder to help these children feel like a part of the community–not apart from it. Of all the children I tutor, eight-year-old Angel is the most difficult; yet he is the person I look forward to seeing every day. When he hurls books in frustration, I gently remind him, “These are the same words I once struggled with.” I want Angel to know that I will struggle through these words again for him.

In my sophomore year, as the Westchester County representative to Youth to Youth International, a youth leadership training camp, I learned leadership skills required to organize a community-based drug prevention program that focuses primarily on middle school and high school students. I met remarkable people with incredible stories of resilience as they fought their addictions to become coalition leaders. A common thread connecting their stories is the importance of communities in overcoming these substances, whether faith-based or a group of users struggling together. My peer leaders showed me the optimism and dedication it took to maintain a community in which everyone needed to believe the goal is achievable. This belief proved to be essential during a summer internship at our local New Castle United for Youth where I organized events with the goal of creating a support network that extends to all those who seek help in our town. 

Through high school, I learned how to be someone my brother can confide to about his mental health; how to be a teacher who the children in my English-as-a-Second-Language (ESL) class can expect to not give up on them, even during the most difficult readings; and how to be a non-judgmental friend who can be turned to for advice with substance-problems. 

Through these experiences, I can say that trust is not a ‘thing,’ but an action. It is a vulnerable act of giving something one values, knowing that person will take good care of it like they always had. It is the highest honor someone can be given by their loved ones–no wonder my grandma emphasized its importance so much. Trust is not a one-way street. Just like how my parents, brother, students, and peers rely on me, I am sure that they will be there when I need them. Most importantly, I can trust myself to be trusted.

“Kə’myōōnədē”, the word that would not roll off my tongue when I first came to America has now become my favorite. Whether it is in school or in town, I look for communities everywhere. After all, they are what hold us together. 

Editor’s Note: Dang was honored on June 30th at Crabtree’s Kittle House with the Chappaqua Rotary Club’s Student Community Service Award; in addition, two-term Rotary president Eileen Gallagher–who received the Paul Harris service award the same day–presented Dang with a $1000 scholarship from the Rotary for his outstanding achievement and dedication to ‘Service above Self’.

To all that’s Life Affirming

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If I had to name my most heart wrenching moments in 18 years of publishing locally, it has been unquestionably reporting or covering the loss of a young life. But they have ironically felt the most meaningful, if only in some tiny, immeasurable way, when sharing the memories of a precious son or daughter provided even the smallest degree of comfort to a grieving parent–and to a community of family, friends, and neighbors in mourning too.

You’ll learn about the remarkable life of a young lady, Linda Zhang, her unyielding passion to save our planet and the impact she had on all those who knew her.

I met Linda’s warm and wonderful parents at an event at the Chappaqua Library earlier this summer when a first Linda Zhang writing award was presented. Writing was another passion of Linda’s. Pamela Brown’s article about Linda and the foundation formed in her honor: www.lindazhangfoundation.org

As we went to press, news came of another devastating loss to the community, that of Danielle Taylor Leventhal, an immensely talented artist described by her family and friends as “a beautiful ray of sunshine and a strong-willed woman.” Danielle’s mom, Jennifer, had sent me her family’s poignant words in a story I then posted about this brilliant, joy-filled young lady. https://www.theinsidepress.com/in-remembrance-of-danielle-taylor-leventhal/

A packed service at Temple Beth El led by Rabbi Jaffe–the remembrances by her family and friends – conveyed the enormity of the love for Danielle and her legacy.

If this letter column feels ‘heavy’ for back- to-school editions, as spotlighted by various stories, I hope you might see it as life affirming instead, because learning more about these two wonderful souls really has been.

Please enjoy all the articles assembled with gratitude and with a hopeful but watchful eye over ‘everything Covid’.  Speaking of gratitude, please don’t miss our stories about the Byram Hills Education Foundation ‘funding our student’s futures’, the New Castle United for Youth ‘EXPERIENCE’, as told by two interns, and one of Byram Hill’s student Anika Bobra who has created a remarkable podcast devoted to promoting gratitude widely.

Personal and family enrichment via fabulous local options are always something to be grateful for.  So, do help celebrate ‘comeback’ events –  Community Day in New Castle, the Chappaqua Children’s Book Festival, Feed Me Fresh: An Edible Evening. and the Armonk Outdoor Art Show!

Do visit the Chappaqua Library’s new Teen and Children’s Rooms! Do feel inspired by Chappaqua’s Edward Lewis, the new director of Caramoor, and partake in any of its ever exciting programming. And also by Hammond’s executive director Elizabeth Hammer who kindly provided me with a fascinating private tour of this small gem of a Museum and its lush Japanese sculpture gardens.

Finally, I’m well into a second decade supporting the Holocaust and Human Rights Education Center. Please consider attending/supporting its upcoming annual fundraiser honoring Andrew Greenspan.  https://hhrecny.org/inspire_events/

Here’s also my ‘welcome back’ to you, and my wish to you for love and happiness and to all that’s life affirming.

A Slice of Americana…Revisited

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Finding Joy and Experiencing Hope in the Traditions and Continuity of Suburban Living

“I think an artist like Norman Rockwell would have done just fine here, inspiration-wise.”

I am writing this a day after the wonderful Presidential inauguration. When we moved out of the City years ago there was a “red” administration in Washington followed by a “blue” one and so on and so forth as the years flew by. With the hellacious year of 2020 now behind us, politics aside, as a nation we are all looking forward to meaningful change and progress. 

I’ve written here frequently about the cul-de-sac where we live. It doesn’t look or feel particularly different from year to year. Sure, we now have a sidewalk encouraging pedestrian activity, but otherwise there’s a reassuring steadiness to life here which helps folks carry on in such a fraught time while we await and long for better days.

When we moved into our yellow house we had no idea that life in the cul-de-sac would end up being a self-replicating slice of Americana. A lot of this bucolic suburban existence, at first glance, might appear mundane. 

However, within the semi-chaotic day-to-day lives most families with small children experience, a comforting repetition feels essential and sometimes beautiful. In other words, I think an artist like Norman Rockwell would have done just fine here, inspiration-wise.

Upon moving here, I was immediately struck by a simple act by our new next door neighbors. A knock on the door and a warm loaf of fresh-baked homemade bread was hand delivered as a means of introduction and welcome. Laurie and I were taken with this simple but lovely gesture and, for a minute, it calmed the turmoil of leaving apartment living in the city and starting over with our two still very young children. Even better, our new next door neighbors became dear friends. 

When those same next door neighbors moved to another state a few years ago it felt like the end of an era. Sometimes proximity is a fine ingredient for relationships. The warm feelings would carry on but, no doubt, things would be different. 

Upon reflection, these neighbors leaving cul-de-sac were just one domino in the chain. In fact, in the last several years literally every house next to ours or in close proximity has seen new families move in. It feels astounding to note that without even realizing it, almost in a blink of an eye, we went from the new kids on the block to the seasoned neighbors who are newer counterparts to turn to for guidance.  

With all families now enduring pandemic living, life in the cul-de-sac is far more remote than in previous years. It is nice to see people on walks even even with their face masks. You can tell they are still smiling with a wave and a hello. In this environment, it’s still the connection we need.

Embracing the Constants

Significantly comforting too are the ‘constants’, the steady reliable features of suburban living. The bus stop right in front of our house initially served as an introduction to the neighborhood. Kids meeting kids and us meeting other parents and caretakers. That daily interaction was not only socially meaningful but threw us into neighborhood circulation in an organic, no looking back manner.  

Now, with our children years past using the bus stop, there are new families with their kids waiting for the bus. That annual continuity, along with remembering the feeling of being part of it, is a sweet confirmation that however life may evolve, there are certain foundational pieces one can always rely upon.

Within the first few weeks of moving here there was a block party in the cul-de-sac. At that moment, for me, it felt like a mildly hokey social obligation and facing it as a new family just felt difficult. My sometimes panicky neuroticism aside, more thoughtful voices endured, and we went. It turned out to be a very enjoyable and bonding time–a fine tradition.

We had similar neighborhood parties over the years, but not since most of the new families have landed here. As we approach almost a full year of pandemic living, I’m looking forward to the old normal, like a block party that right now, is just impossible. Odd to be looking towards an event that will manage to be a tradition and a change simultaneously. Hopefully before long.

Sisterly Love for ‘Rent a Teenager’

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Let’s hope, given all that we have been through, we have a mild winter. But if we happen to have a storm this coming season, save your strength and let a teenager shovel your walk. I know just where you can find one…

Growing up, my twin brother, Mason, and I did many of the same activities. Whether running a race in the backyard, attempting the steepest ski trails, or memorizing multiplication tables, we were in a constant competition over who was faster, braver or smarter. In those rare instances when Mason would do better than me, I was definitely envious and admittedly, a bit of a sore loser. However, when he launched his entrepreneurial endeavor, Rent a Teenager, I easily felt pride over envy.

Here’s how Rent a Teenager came to be: When our older brother, Daniel, was in middle school, he would practice tennis by hitting with a local varsity tennis player. My mom paid the player $25 per hour back then. As Mason became more of a seasoned tennis player, he realized that he too could provide a similar service to younger kids at a fraction of the rate offered by professionals. As Mason started booking up, he realized that there was likely interest for lessons in other sports. He recruited some classmates and expanded his services to include soccer, lacrosse, basketball, you name it!

This led to RentATeenager.com, a website Mason founded as a resource that provides responsible and talented teenagers to perform various jobs. His range of services now extends way beyond just sports training. You can now hire a teenager as a tutor, babysitter, dog walker, errand runner, house worker, weed puller, couch mover, photographer, and more. As Mason likes to say, teens excel at just about everything. I guess with the exception of me since he never hires me for anything!

His website soon reached social media pages, like Instagram and Facebook, where he expanded both his slew of customers and his audience. From this, the business quickly gained momentum. Mason also started licensing his Rent a Teenager materials so teens in other towns can be their own boss and provide the same meaningful services in their community. And for a philanthropic effort, he donates 10% of his earnings to the Horace Greeley Scholarship Fund.

Rent a Teenager is at the cornerstone of discussion in my house. Ugh. And I apathetically anticipate the inevitable talk about his business at the upcoming holiday gatherings (I will shut my Zoom off if we just talk Rent A Teenager!) My extended family is so proud of his entrepreneurial skills. Hello? What about me? Of course, my mom and dad always use the opportunity to say that they already use some teenagers to help around the house–as they look skeptically at me and Mason.

Back in October, Mason creatively approached the problem of a lack of poll workers by advertising for teenage poll workers on Facebook. He boosted his posts so that they would reach parents and teens throughout the U.S. In some states you just need to be 17 to be a poll worker and now because of Rent a Teenager, teens not old enough to vote were able to meaningfully participate in politics. Mason got a lot of press coverage for this initiative.

And to prepare for the cold and snowy winter ahead, Mason plans to offer snow removal services. I bet my Dad, who is hounded by my mom to snow blow the driveway starting at 5 a.m. the day after a storm, will appreciate that. I keep trying to push Mason to start a hot chocolate business; that would be an endeavor I would support.              

As much as I’d like to rent a new brother at times, and as much as this pains me to admit, Mason has created quite a successful business for himself and I know he will do quite well studying business in college. But not as well as me, of course!

The Corona Chronicles: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

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Creative pursuits: A lemonade stand with proceeds going to frontline healthcare workers

This past February my neighbor and I drove to the city with our kids to see National Geographic Encounter’s Ocean Odyssey. As we sped down the Saw Mill, she asked me if I’ve been following the news about a new virus called COVID-19 that originated in China and was now raging through Italy. Yes, I had heard murmurings but the illness was somewhere else not on our shores. “Buy toilet paper, Purell and plenty of wine,” she said. Thank goodness for well-informed neighbors.

Now that my kids have completed iLearning, I’ve had the time to reflect on how COVID has impacted our family. Each family has had their own struggles living in the “new normal” and this is a glimpse into ours.

The Good

Let’s start with the good. Life pre-COVID, our life was in the fast lane–running from one activity to the next from after school activities to birthday parties to playdates. COVID put that to an abrupt halt and our lives have slowed down significantly. My mom always admonishes me saying that we run ourselves ragged. “You didn’t have a million after school activities and you turned out ok.” Hmm, maybe she has a point.

Isolation forces your kids to come up with their own entertainment when they weren’t on devices. I’ve enjoyed watching my kid’s creativity blossom from making a lemonade stand to raise money for frontline healthcare workers to devising carnival day in our house, my kids have created fun options that don’t even cost a cent. Having weekends devoid of activities, we’ve had a chance to explore treasures in our backyard with hikes at Ward Pound Ridge and Pruyn Sanctuary.

We’ve had more time together and one of the best things about this has been our ability to have dinner as a family every night. With my husband’s long hours in the office and frequent business trips, we sometimes managed to only have dinner as a family once or twice a week and I’ve always wanted more of them – but be careful what you wish for. I’m up to my eyeballs in dirty dishes with everyone home 24/7.

The Bad

I am not a patient person and some of my most harrowing moments of this pandemic has been iLearning. I realize how fortunate I am – I haven’t lost loved ones or have a job that puts my life at risk during this pandemic but iLearning has tested every fabric of my being. I had to sit down with my first grader for almost every assignment, prod my fourth grader into completing assignments and then harass my sixth grader daily who at first showed the most promise with iLearning but then lost motivation after it extended beyond anyone’s wildest imaginations. The yelling, the crying, the role of being the resident nag–it was all too much. And all this fighting was going on with my husband in his home office trying to be on conference calls. “My clients are wondering why WWIII is going on in the background,” he said so many times I lost count. So I let my kids go back to playing Fortnite as default entertainment.

The lack of planning for a dinner with the grandparents or a trip to a museum in the city has filled me with sadness. It’s this lack of possibilities and planning for the future that I am mourning most during COVID which leads to the ugly section.

The Ugly

The lack of predictably with COVID and who will fall victim to it scares me. Right now with the NY infection rate hovering at 1% as we go to print, I feel like we are in a “sweet spot”. It’s only a matter of time though before it gets worse again according to epidemiologists. And so I wonder should I stock up again on canned beans and Clorox wipes?

Each morning I scan the New York Times headlines. Never before have I felt so hopeless about our future. The politicization of mask wearing, the high infection rates in the Sun Belt, the double-digit unemployment numbers and the racial disparities in how this disease is affecting our nation, it’s too much to absorb. I now shut down after reading for a half hour instead of compulsively reading like I did in the early stages of the pandemic. And each afternoon while I hash out the day’s headlines with my neighbor in my cul-de-sac during a “COVID cocktail hour”, I’m grateful she suggested in February that I stock up on wine.